Can Quiet be Showy?

Yesterday afternoon, my wife and I went on a little adventure to check out this bog that is known for having some very beautiful plants growing within it.  While the weather outside was a bit cool and gloomy, we needed to get outside and breathe in some delightful and fresh summer air.  So, we made our way through several back roads to this bog nature preserve in Hartland, VT.  Numerous other cars littered the tiny parking area and neighboring shoulders.  Do fairies live in this special place, I thought to myself as I pondered why so many people would be checking out a wetland on a gloomy Sunday.  Walking upon the well-maintained boardwalks, you could hear the chirping birds and singing insects perfectly.  Despite the many people that filled this small area, the sounds of nature were the only ones we could hear.  We saw lots of green things from ferns to leaves, and even a few bushes.  Who knew there were so many different kinds of ferns.  We even saw an Ostrich Fern.  What?  Ostriches don’t live in New England.  How did that plant get here?  Perhaps it’s named for its ostrich-like shape.  Oh, that makes way more sense than being food for ostriches.  As we slowly made our way through the meandering boardwalk, the reason for the many cars and people visiting this beautiful place became very evident to me: Showy Lady Slippers.  Imagine a small plant with a green, black, and white flower that grows in a most peculiar manner.  One part of it appears to look like a small shoe-like holding pouch, which is perhaps how this amazing specimen received its name.  These plants were more than just beautiful.  They offered serenity in the often turbulent times of early summer.  They proved a brilliant distraction in a sea of green and browns.  They stood out, but not in a showy way as their name suggests.  They stood almost at a downward angle, shadowed by the nearby trees and bushes.  They weren’t trying to be noticed, they just happened to be the picture of absolute beauty.  They offered quiet in a naturally loud and slowly flowing bog area.  While they looked completely different from every other species around them, they weren’t trying to out do the other flora samples.  They were just trying to be themselves, quiet and beautiful.  In a world filled with loud distractions, crazy schedules, and tumultuous current events, it’s nice to see that evolution has created some beautiful organisms to remind us to take a deep breath and experience the quiet world around us from time to time.

Having recently finished reading the novel Quiet by Susan Cain, I feel as though I am much more attuned to and aware of the introverts in our world.  I myself feel akin to her explanation of an introvert.  I feel much more at peace when I am alone or in a small group of close friends.  I do my best work in solitude and silence.  As I’m writing this entry, I’m sitting, alone, on my couch, staring out the window at a ginormous eastern white pine tree and listening to the birds talk it up.  No other distractions plague me.  If the television was on or another person in the room, my brain would be unable to contemplate the beauty of life.  Unfortunately though, in our world, it’s the extroverted qualities that are often embraced and rewarded.  I feel as though I was taught from an early age that being quiet and working or living in solitude are bad things.  I’ve been forced to, at times, be something I’m not because I was told by society that I had to.  Cain’s book shows us that while outgoing and extroverted personality traits are more recognized and celebrated, those more quiet, introverted people should be allowed to be who they are.  Introversion isn’t a disease, it’s something one is born with.  In the novel, the author whittles the difference between extroverts and introverts down into its simplest form, biology.  People are born with different levels of sensitivity regarding their temperament, which causes them to be extroverted or introverted.  Introverts can’t help being introverted and extroverts can’t help being extroverted.  It’s completely acceptable and fine to be who you really are.   If, like the showy lady slipper and me, you are a unique introvert that shows your creative beauty in more outward, visual ways, that is a-okay.  Be who you are and be happy with that.  Society should not force people to be something they are not, she states throughout the book.

She did mention something that struck me in her novel, as I’ve often wrestled with the kind of person I am.  I tend to, at times, come across as more extroverted and outgoing.  Does that mean I’m an extrovert?  Her answer was simply, No.  However, sometimes, introverts find that their passion requires them to utilize and display more extroverted qualities; therefore, it is completely acceptable to fake it a bit and pretend to be different than how you truly are if what you like to do requires that.  As a teacher, I am talkative, outgoing, and extroverted because that’s what makes me a great teacher.  Because I love teaching, I step outside my comfort zone to do what feels right and good to me.  Much like the professor she referenced in her book, I too need my down time after a long day of faking it.  I need to come home and veg out, watching television with my wife or talking to my son about his day.  I need a mental break.  This novel helped me see myself for how I truly am.  It’s given me the courage to remain quiet when appropriate.  I now feel confident owning my choices.

The author did a fantastic job explaining the difference between extroverts and introverts, and used stories, anecdotes, and much research to support her claims.  She also gave introverts like me the extra boost we need to realize that we don’t have to pretend to be an extrovert in a world that celebrates extroversion.  I can be me, a quiet, thoughtful, introvert.  Even though our world has come to rely on extroverted personality traits, it’s the introverts who have really shaken things up over time.  Some of the best inventions or ideas have come from introverts.  Without them, it does make me wonder if our world would be what it is today.  Cain provides much food for thought in her well-articulated text about quiet people.  She offers many suggestions on how people might embrace their inner introvert or help others seize their introversion.  She also explains how parents and educators can help introverts harness their true potential as individuals without having to fit into a certain box.  I found it to be eye-opening as an introvert and teacher.  Rather than push my quiet students to be more extroverted, I need to celebrate their introversion while also helping them to see that we do indeed live in a loud, extroverted world.  Sometimes, you do need to be a bit more extroverted if your passion requires it.  I am now equipped with new knowledge on how to best support all of my students thanks to Susan Cain’s brilliant book.

While some introverts, like me, do like to be a bit showy or loud in how we dress or act, at times, it doesn’t mean that we crave attention or are trying to be something we’re not.  We are simply trying to be ourselves in a world that often tries to fit us into holes that are meant to steal our creativity, individuality, beauty, and introversion.  Cain’s novel reminded me of just that.  It’s not an us versus them world.  I’m not trying to show up the extroverts in my life by standing out, I’m just trying to be me.  I’m trying to show others that I am comfortable in my skin, happy with the quiet person I am.  Like the showy lady slippers, some people are different and like to embrace that in a world that seems to crave uniformity.  It’s okay to be quiet or loud, as long as you are true to yourself.

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